Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thoughts while driving

I think it's because I slept through my alarm; 7 minutes into it, to be exact. Of course, in retrospect, "Soothing Ocean Waves" probably isn't the best mode to wake to. But it made me late, and cause me to fly down the highway, breakneck speed. Almost spilled my iced coffee.

But trying to make up for lost time really gave me a good look on other drivers habits, mistakes, and missues of the roads...

1. If you're cruising along, and see a cruiser, with lights flashing, on the side of the road with a speeder, don't slow down! Why? He's got his victim! He's writing his $300 ticket for the hour! It's like a python slowly digesting a wild pig: there's no way in hell he's hunting again for quite some time. On the contrary, this is the perfect opportunity to step it up a few mph, and make up even more time! It's a free pass!!

2. Enough with the Prius and other "Hybrid" cars in the fast lane going 60MPH. The milage difference is what, 10mpg? 15? Please. You lose any fuel savings in the cost of the car, and angry gestures from idiots like me. Global warming is overrated. It's the cycle of life: when the Earth gets too crowded with iceburgs, another dinosaur fossil squirts some oil, and warms another patch of land. It's time we retire these "Hybrids" back where they belong: in the parking lot of PTA meetings, where the owners can brag about how they, and they alone, are saving this planet that managed to survive for billions of years without Muffy's help.

3. Cell phones are way too much of a distraction for drivers. Which is why I rarely use mine when driving. It also takes too much time away from my fumbling with my iPod. If I go in a firey crash, I want background music, not a tinny voice asking "can you hear me now?"